The American Journal of Epidemiology noted that smart children live longer than dumb children.

Well, yes.


How many times have you heard a parent yell: “Tiffany-Marie. Watch out for that rake!!”

Tiffany-Marie ignores parent. Steps on the rake. Rake hits her in her 12-inch-high forehead. Tiffany-Marie winces and falls back a few feet. Rubs giant head. Walks forward and steps on the rake again. You just know someone like is going to end up having 12 kids and water down the gene pool.

America could go through another Depression and still there would be grants available to verify the sun rises in the morning — usually in the East — and goes by-by around duskish.

Dr. Laurie T. Martin and Laura D. Kubzansky of the Harvard School of Public Health were paid, rather handsomely, to report that really smart kids live even longer than their just regular, just-plain-smart counterparts.

Using a study that went back all the way to the 1920s, the two scientists noted that big fat geniuses manage to outlive regular ordinary geniuses.

One’s intelligence quotient, or, I.Q., has the mark of 100 for being average. At 130, one is considered gifted. The 150 mark is genius and beyond that, you end up in a pastel-colored jumpsuit as the guest evil scientist bent on world domination in a James Bond movie.

If you have an IQ of 20 or under, you probably shouldn’t be driving or operating heavy machinery, but that’s another column.

Oddly enough, people with IQs of 163 or higher live longer than people with IQs BETWEEN 150 and 163.

Isn’t that simply odd?

Semi-super geniuses (geniusi?) live longer than pretty darn good geniuses? When I read that, I breathed a sigh of relief. If I can avoid rakes, I’ll live to be 1,000.

In the study, Martin and Kubzansky point out that smarter people get better jobs, can take care of themselves better and have more viable lifestyle options than the poor and stupid. And, they step on rakes and fall off of cliffs less.

Still. What is it that makes those few with the giant throbbing heads live longer than people with just moderately large throbbing heads? Martin and Kubzansky speculate it may have something to do with some unknown hormone.

Which reminds me of a joke my dopey sister-like substance Do-Les Leslie told me a long time ago. “How do you make a hormone?”

Pause, two, three, four...

“Don’t pay her.”

Then Leslie will go off and laugh by herself for 20 minutes, pausing to shake her head and slap a knee.

Forgive my sib.

Sub-160 IQ.


(SCV author John Boston also writes The Time Ranger & SCV History for your SCV Beacon. He’s has earned more than 100 major awards for writing, including being named, several times, America’s best humor, and, best serious columnist. Don’t forget to check out his national humor, entertainment & swashbuckling commentary website, America’s Humorist — http://www.johnbostonchronicles.com/) — © 2017 by John Boston. All rights reserved.

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