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There are many books today that are written about love and about loving people.   However, since I have had a lot of problems just liking some people, I have always hoped to run into a book about the science of liking human beings.  I wasn’t thinking about  the art of loving -- loving your spouse, loving your beloved and loving the mysterious stranger who comes out of nowhere to rescue you from a lifetime of loneliness,  There are millions of paperback books about that subject right in the nearest supermarket,

I was interested more in a literary discussion about the science of just liking all the people you literally bump into every day, who literally bump into you, and because you get bumped however accidentally they test your patience.   After not being able to find a book about the subject, I ventured to write an Amazon Book on this theme myself, “How to Like a Human Being.”

My book has been written while we are starting to wade knee-deep into enmity – enmity that strikes our streets and our roads.  It is really hard to “have a nice day” when we have to be constantly alert for that car that may be following us through exits and stoplights.

But I think that the excess of road rage and workplace rage and street rage has a lot to do with a culture of payback that has gone way out of control.  On the mean streets of Los Angeles, this culture of payback has evolved from an eye for an eye to an eye for twenty eyes or more.

Ehen we examine this culture more carefully, we understand that it is not simply confined to the mean streets of Los Angeles.  The culture of payback is within all of us as well.

Let’s think for a moment to the last time that an individual did or said something that suddenly made your life very difficult.  That is, you will know that is the case because you cannot take out of your mind what this person did or said that has now been clinging to you as if it is some filthy material that will not wash away.  It reaches a point where you cannot think of any serious subject except that person who you believe has done you so much an injustice.

At a certain point you will often decide that the only way to wash the injustice away is by planning revenge against the person who perpetrated it. You begin planning in your mind what the best revenge will be.  At the outset, you feel a little relief of pressure now that you are have planned revenge, so that means to you the more you get into the retribution the better you will feel.

You fill your mind with increasing details of the payback.  It could be in the form of slander.  Or a confrontation that sprays out stress.  As we can tell by watching the Action News of Loe Angeles, payback is also too often expressed in violence and even murder.

After a while, you can do no more planning of your revenge.  You mind is filled with plans, and there is no more room for additional plans.

You feel all stuffed up now with plans, and you are at a point where you need to relieve this feeling by carrying out your revenge.  You are caught up in a momentum of revenge that is pushing you like a wind.

But wind or not, to escape from the destructive and self-destructive vortex of revenge, you have to stop right now.  You have gone out of control already,

You are out of control, and you have to get help.  This will not be easy. Your own powers to help yourself have been burned up, and so you have to hope for a higher power that can rescue you.

Of course, a lot of people believe there is no higher power.  They believe once they have reached the end of their own powers, that is the end.  Similarly, a lot of shipwrecked people don’t believe that if they throw a bottle a message in the water, that there I no ship out there that will rescue them.

But at last you have to believe that a rescue ship has to be your last hope.

Finally you pray for the strength to be freed from the vortex  you are in.  You pray for the subject of your revenge.

This will work.  You have to pray for the person long enough that you want to start thinking of other things,  The moment you start thinking of other things is when you begin being rescued from the vortex in which you have been caught.

It will work, and suddenly you will start feel better and freer.

 

Chris Sharp- Community Interview

Chris Sharp is an Educator and a prize-winning professional writer. He has recently published a new book titled How to Like a Human Being . His commentaries represent his own opinions and not necessarily the views of any organization he may be affiliated with or those of The SCV Beacon.